RIGHT, apologies first. I said I'd tell you all about my afternoon swanning around in my new hat at the Buckingham Palace garden party, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait until my next column. In fact it's a mini-miracle I've managed to get this one to you.
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I DON'T suppose it's every day my village post lady pops a stiff cream envelope through somebody's letterbox with a pink Buckingham Palace postmark on it.
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IF YOUR newspaper of choice carries one of those 'It Happened This Day' columns, you'll be reminded tomorrow that on July 20, 1957 Harold Macmillan produced perhaps the most memorable soundbite in the history of British politics.
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IT'S a tough call but, all things considered, I still think David Davis deserves this week's award for the most ridiculous pronouncement in a public place.
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I'VE been offered the chance to have a What Not to Wear style makeover, where a lady goes through my wardrobe, chucks out everything that makes me look like Heather from EastEnders and is honest about my sense of style.
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LAST weekend, while in the garden, Paul got attacked by a bear and dislocated his shoulder trying to protect me from its fierce jaws and immense weight.
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