There are many breeds of people who will be put against the wall come the revolution but scientists I suspect will be in the initial batch – just after estate agents, politicians and doctor’s receptionists.
You see, apart from having unusual growths of hair and a poor fashion sense, their main crime is spending an extortionate amount of someone else’s money so that they can come to the conclusion that a certain foodstuff, that was once the staple diet of half the world, is suddenly bad for you.
And it is normally something one is rather fond of. But then low and behold, the very next day, another one of the little blighters pops up to say that very same food is now good for you.
So you never really know whether you are coming or going with them. They should get them all together one day and well, just leave them there. The world would be better off without progress.
Anyway, a friend of mine had to give up drink a few years ago. His doctor gave him strict orders to avoid all alcohol, so now he has drunk his last drop and taken to drinking elderberry juice and lavishly titled fruit teas.
I told him to go and see a different doctor but he refused to listen - silly boy. And he has never been the same since poor fellow – he now looks a lot younger and is always damdably chipper and happy which is not right is it. I gave up drink once – it was the worst half hour of my life (the old ones are the best).
Anyway, this was the same fellow, that 20 years ago, used to down 10 pints after work and then pick up his car keys and drive off vowing he would chase the police cars home. But alas, all his hard work and barren months have been in vain. For a report in a national newspaper last week said that a man who drank 63 units a week, or a bottle of wine a day, would face the same risk of death as a teetotaller.
So I have been vindicated and furthermore there is possible room for improvement. For I am not sure how many units are contained in the average glass of pale cream British, but I feel I may need to pop down to Asda and pick up some additional supplies as I may be coming in under my alcohol target.
These medical research-ers are geniuses you know. Wonderful people. Worth every penny.
Comment 
